


Of Times

by fishfingersandjellybabies



Series: Recovery Trilogy [3]
Category: Batman (Comics), Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-18 16:57:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10621173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishfingersandjellybabies/pseuds/fishfingersandjellybabies
Summary: He’d only asked to continue the conversation. He didn’t expect an answer, or the one he got.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to [Deja Vu](http://fishfingersandjellybabies.tumblr.com/post/159438962212/deja-vu-fic) and [Everything](http://fishfingersandjellybabies.tumblr.com/post/159324814247/everything-fic). Bruce and Shawn are gonna have trouble getting Dick away from Damian’s bedside. It probably becomes near routine for Dick to tell Damian how much he loves him like, once an hour. It probably doesn’t really hit Dick until later how many of his best and worst times deal with Damian, and he probably gets all emotional about it, and then talks poor Shawn’s ear off about Damian AGAIN. Dick will ask Damian about all his best times too, and they literally all deal with Dick. Dick’s so touched he probably starts to cry. Damian probably feels guilty for that too, the poor baby.

Damian huffed, and the breath nearly knocked Dick’s cards off the mattress.

His older brother had been sitting in the uncomfortable chair, playing a ridiculous game of cards for the last three hours. Humming sometimes, talking some other times, glancing up at Damian after every card he laid down. Not looking for approval, Damian knew, but.

It was as if he was checking to make sure Damian was still there.

“You sound annoyed, Damian.” Dick said pleasantly. Laid a card down, looked up at Damian. “What’s up?”

“Surely you’re bored by now.” Damian countered, crossing his arms. Frowning when his IV tube tugged. “You’ve been playing Solitare for _hours_.”

“A little.” Dick grinned. Laid another card. Glanced up. “But it’s a good way to pass the time.”

“You can _stop_.” Damian pushed. “Do something else.”

“Doing anything else would require me to _leave_.” Dick explained. Laid down three cards now, looked up at Damian. “And I do _not_ want to do that.”

“…You _can_.” Damian murmured. “You don’t _have_ to sit with me.”

“Of course not. I just _want_ to.” Dick laid another few cards, and then frowned. Clearly this was a losing hand, and he quickly scooped all the cards up, reorganizing them as he, _again_ , looked at Damian. Damian suddenly didn’t like it, and snorted, turning his head away. A little too quickly, if the explosion of pain in his skull was any indication. He must have winced, or twitched or something, because suddenly Dick’s hand was on his arm. “You okay?”

“Fine, fine.” Damian tried to wave him off, but Dick didn’t lean back. “It just…it _hurts_. Sometimes. And nothing really seems to set it off it just…”

“When you least expect it, there it is, full blast.” Dick smiled apologetically. “I know, kiddo. It’ll be like that for the next week at least. Maybe longer.”

“It’s just _annoying_.” Damian heard the whine in his own voice.

“Hah. Tell me about it.” Dick chuckled. When Damian leaned back against his pillow, Dick still didn’t let go. “…Is this the worst pain you’ve ever been in?”

“Grayson, I’ve been shot multiple times. I _died_.” Damian reminded, and Dick frowned, looked away. “I mean, it’s up there, but…no. Not the worst.”

“…I feel like that should be comforting, but it’s not.” Dick whispered, voice bitter. And Damian knew by this point: that bitterness was aimed at himself.

“…Was it the worst pain you were ever in?” Damian asked thoughtfully. Dick glanced up. “When Hurt shot _you_?”

“Mm…nah. I wouldn’t say so.” Dick shrugged. “Top ten, for sure, but…nothing beats a paper cut, you know?”

Dick snorted at his own joke, and Damian rolled his eyes. There was a moment of silence, then, as Dick finally drew his hand back, and began to reshuffle his cards. Damian watched him thoughtfully, before:

“…What _is_ the worst pain you’ve been in?” Damian asked. “Really?”

“Well…” Dick hummed, keeping his eyes on the cards. “That’s a bit of a tough question.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, do you mean physically? Emotionally?” Dick listed off. “I don’t think I have to tell you that there’s different kinds of pain out there.”

“Just…worst.” Damian repeated. “Whatever that means to you.”

Dick waited a moment. Just shuffled the cards. “Well. When I lost my parents. When Jason died. And Donna. And Bruce. Those kinds of things.”

“…Naturally.” Damian said after a moment.

But suddenly – Dick stopped shuffling the cards. Just held the deck in his hands, staring at them.

“…When Jason shot you.” Dick whispered. “Letting…” He trailed off. “Letting Talia’s doctors take you after Flamingo paralyzed you, and not demanding to come with you.”

Damian felt his chest tighten.

“I always wonder, even now. Maybe if I’d gone with you, Talia wouldn’t have had the chance to hurt you, and put those things in your spine.” Dick wouldn’t look up now. “…Seeing you on that stretcher, not knowing if I’d ever actually _see_ you again…I had a panic attack that night. Did I ever tell you that?”

Damian didn’t answer.

“Being in that state is probably why I ended up trying to resurrect Bruce.” Dick chuckled, but it was self-depreciating. “…When I gave up Batman too. I _hated_ that. I hated just… _leaving_ you there. And then with the Owls. God…when the _Court of Owls_ tried to take you I just…I _literally_ thought my heart was going to stop, and I was going to keel over right there.”

Damian just stared at him, but now, annoyingly, Dick just… _wouldn’t_ look at him.

“When you died.” Dick barely breathed. “When you died, I…the world stopped, Damian. _Everything_ stopped. I didn’t remember what pain actually _felt_ like before that. Or even after. Not even physically. No cut or bruise or anything even _compares_.”

Damian had stopped breathing himself. Was…well, _shocked_ was an understatement.

“Right now is up there, though.” Dick laughed again, and it was sad. Dick finally looked up now, and there were tears in his eyes. “Right now hurts pretty bad too.”

“But.” Damian murmured. “But I’m _fine_ , Grayson.”

“You’re not fine, kiddo, you just had surgery to get a _bullet_ out of your _skull_.” Dick grinned incredulously. “And…and it’s my fault you got shot. You got hurt because some madman decided to use _you_ to get at _me_.”

“No, I got shot because Simon Hurt is the most unoriginal villain we’ve ever faced.” Damian countered. “And that is _not_ your fault.”

Dick smiled, but it was awkward. “You’re funny, you know that?”

Damian felt his lip purse in frustration. And without thinking about it, he jerked forward.

“No, I am _not_ funny!” He scolded, pointing threateningly. “And you will _listen to me_ , Grayson, or else I will…”

Pain raged along the back of his neck and his words faltered without his consent. Dick immediately dropped the cards to the floor and stood, holding Damian’s head between his hands as he gently pushed Damian back against his pillow.

“Calm.” Dick hummed, even as Damian habitually tried to fight him. “Careful, Damian. You go too fast and you’re going to set your recovery back two _more_ months.”

“I’m sure not.” Damian groaned, holding the back of his head himself, squeezing his eyes shut until the pain subsided. When it did, he slumped back, dropped his arm and opened his eyes, looking up at Dick.

Dick smiled, shifting his hand to brush Damian’s hair back. “There you are.”

Damian scoffed and looked away.

“Uh-oh. I know that face.” Dick sang as he released Damian’s face and sat back down in his chair. “That’s your patented _brooding_ face. What are you brooding about?”

“…What you said.” Damian whispered. “It sounds like I’ve caused you nothing but pain and heartache since we met.”

“…Oh, no, Damian, that’s _not_ -”

“I apologize. That was _never_ my intention.” Damian turned his head back, looking emotionless as he said: “But it makes more sense now, why you’d want to replace me with a child of your own.”

“That’s…” Dick’s face darkened a little, as if annoyed, but then it instantly brightened, though still seemed slightly apologetic. “Damian.”

Damian just raised an eyebrow.

“Our whole relationship has _not_ been pain and heartache. And you know what? Even if it was, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I wouldn’t trade _you_ for the world.” Dick smiled, leaning his elbows on the mattress. “I love you to _death_ , kiddo. And I…I know I’m pretty bad at showing it. Or telling you. But that’s the truth. Or have you forgotten what I told you yesterday?”

Yesterday, when Dick’s girlfriend explained how much Dick talked about him. Yesterday, when Dick barged in on them with an emotional rant that Damian was still struggling to actually _believe_.

“You’re my favorite baby. You will _always be_ my favorite baby. And god forbid I ever have my _own_ baby…well, then you two would be tied.” Dick smiled sheepishly. “And it’s not all pain and woe. Did you know you star in some of my happiest moments too?”

Damian tilted his head in confusion.

Dick laughed, put a hand on Damian’s arm. “Playing Swordwalkers, when we defeated the White Knight all those years ago. Watching you solve your first case on your own. Going to the arcade.” That grin suddenly grew wide and bright. “The first time I saw you again after you came back to life. When you ran at me and let me hold you. That one’s my favorite moment of all time.”

Damian felt his face heat up. “…No it isn’t.”

“It really, really is. I think about it at least once a day, and every time you call or text me.” Dick promised. “I love you, Damian, and that’s never going to change. No matter what happens, where I go or how old I get.” That blinding smile faded, just a little. “…And I know it’s hard for you to believe something like that, what with how you grew up, how our family is, how much of a jerk I am sometimes, but it’s the _absolute_ truth. And I will spend the next two months at least ingraining that into your cute little head, okay?”

Damian blinked. “Two months?”

“What, did you think I was going to let you recover on your own?” Dick snorted. “ _Please_ , kid. You were there for me, the least I could do is be there for you too. Alfred already made up my room for Shawn and I. She’s sticking around to help, too.”

“You…” Damian glanced away in embarrassment. “You don’t have to, I can-”

“I _want_ to.” Dick cut off.  “And I’m _going_ to, whether you want me to or not.”

And Damian had no real retort to that. Was embarrassed and flattered and giddy and…any emotion you could think of. And it was _exhausting_ him.

So instead: “…You’re insufferable, Grayson.”

“That’s what big brothers are for.” Dick chuckled, leaning up to kiss Damian’s forehead. He lingered there a second, then leaned back just a little. “…I’m sorry you got hurt because of me, Damian.”

“And I’m sorry I made you hurt your ankle.” Damian glanced up at him, tried to smile himself. “So I think we’re even.”

“Not even close!” Dick laughed loudly, pressing a second kiss where he left the first. “See, Damian? I told you you were funny.”

“Yeah, well. I unfortunately had a great teacher.” Damian smirked and Dick rolled his eyes as he leaned down to begin picking up his cards. Damian watched him for a moment, then: “…Grayson?”

“Hm?”

“…I love you too.” Damian whispered. Dick looked up. “I’m…sorry I’m so insecure about it. About _all_ of it.”

Dick smiled knowingly, sitting back up with all the cards in his hand, and scooting closer to the mattress. “You’re the best, kiddo.”

“ _We’re_ the best.” Damian corrected.

“That’s right, we are.” Dick laughed for a good thirty seconds. As it died down, he held up the cards. “Now you need your sleep, but how about a quick game of Go Fish first?”

Damian thought about it. “Winner gets to pick a movie to watch later? And the ice cream flavor?”

And Dick stared up at him, face open and _adoring_ and loving. It made Damian almost uncomfortable, he was so unused to such… _bold-faced_ affection. But it also made him… _happy_. Warm. Relaxed.

(Because this is all he _wanted_.)

“Deal.”


End file.
